If It has Arnold in It, Don’t Remake It.

Actually, I would appreciate if people didn’t remake anything. Some originality would be nice.  While, I would appreciate no remakes, this goes double for ones with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It as actually quite interesting how many of Arnold’s films were science fiction or fantasy based.  It is also interesting how every remake of one of them is a complete flop.  The latest edition of Total Recall going to the remake scrap-heap is prime example.  Great CGI, No originality and No Arnold equals epic fail.  It seems the original which was recently called ‘cheesy’ by some critic did far better at the box office than the new one which is cooler looking.

The problem I have is the concepts of many of Arnold’s science fiction films are pretty solid.  Total Recall combines a lot of factors; psychological manipulation, space travel, ancient alien races and Mars are just a few themes in the story. These themes are no longer original, however and so the story better be killer with a new twist.  No such luck from Hollywood on this one.

I also think there is another problem – liberalism has grown and softened the themes of these movies.  Conan the Barbarian with Arnold is a single-minded Spartan themed ride.  “That which does not kill me makes me stronger”.  It was brutal and nasty.  When I saw the remake cover in the store, I didn’t bother.  The guy looks like a wimp compared to Arnold. He had that modern muscled look that tells of mass over aesthetics.  The look that speaks of modern gyms and supplements and not simply Pumping Iron and doing the work.  I simply could not see him as a brutal and nasty guy.

Of course, it could be the simple fact that Arnold’s personality and light-hearted humor are something we shouldn’t try to copy because they are too unique and every time Hollywood tries they fail because of it.

My beef is that all the liberalized themes are being done and redone ad nauseum. The fertile soil of all this seems to be to take something and redo it in the arrogance that we can make it better, kinder, gentler and cooler.  Perhaps it is simply time to revisit some themes we haven’t done in a while — conservative libertarian ones.  Perhaps we should simply take a book by Robert Heinlein and turn it into a movie without edits and let it stand on its own.  After all we might simply want to respect the genius of a writer who was trying to ask a serious question in his book “Why do men fight?”  instead of trying to change it so that it reflects our own disdain for the military and fascism (aka Starship Troopers).  Could someone simply turn a good book into a movie please without worrying how we’re going to wow them with CGI?  Could the CGI simply be used to tell the story and not be the story?  Maybe I am asking too much.  Probably, since I think liberalism limits the imagination there are certain thing you are not allowed to say or do in it.  Political correctness and being sensitive to everyone’s feelings being the order of your typical liberal’s day.

No remakes please.  And if Arnold already did it, leave it alone.  The man is in a class all by himself.

One thought on “If It has Arnold in It, Don’t Remake It.

  1. A friend of mine who is a local film maker has an interesting theory that the actor can legitimately be viewed as the auteur of his particular film if he has enough presence and control over the production, and he used Schwarzenegger specifically as an example.

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